Sunshine flecking fields.
Will you put mint sauce on me?
when I’m dead,
when you roast me.
Demands the child, with expectant smile.
we will waste you.
Crushed with sorrow, she cries.
That child was me.
When I was a child, as I have said, meat was my favourite and of all the meat we ate roast lamb was my favourite. It still is.
I was not, I think, a particularly ghoulish child.
I understood about meat, it came from animals.
I understood what humans were, they were animals.
My thought about my demise made perfect sense. I didn't however wish to be a stew or be minced nor did I wish to be sausages, although I enjoyed eating all these. No I wished to be the best of the best, a roast. With all the trimmings:)
This poem was inspired by one of our rare car trips into the country(petrol was rationed most of my early life). We passed a field full of gambolling lambs. We stopped to lean over a gate and watch them. I always enjoyed watching them. They are such fun, I will stop and watch them even now.
When we returned to the car I asked my parents if they would remember to roast me when I died, if I died before them. The whole family laughed and told me people don’t eat people. That eating people was wrong. When someone died they were buried in a coffin, like the relatives I had already watched go into the earth. If they were dead, I reasoned, why not? all they would say was eating people was wrong!
I can remember my devastation at not only the laughter but by a sense of injustice. I had requested and been refused for no apparent good reason (I had not considered their reason good enough:).
It was like admitting, I thought trees had souls and could talk to us. A thought that should have been left unsaid. I was learning about not being considered a weirdo.
What a waste I thought then. What a waste I still think. I know I wont be roasted but I will feed the bacteria and other microscopic life as I have arranged a green burial for myself. It might not be the last word I intended nearly 7 decades ago but it is my last word now.
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